omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Drunk is a universal language darling
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