There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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