I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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