We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sext me about skeletons
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
