I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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