Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
