none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
