I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
