i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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