2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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