Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
COCAINE IS GR8
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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