is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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