that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
