I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
