How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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