My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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