i just google imaged poop.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
