He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
