12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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