but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
