Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
