even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
