I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
