Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
