y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
