how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
