I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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