Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
