nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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