I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
