I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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