I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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