your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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