The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
