You were right. It hurts to walk today.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
