32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
