we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
