is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
