as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
