Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
