ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
