the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
