ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
