My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
