You're completely useless in the revolution.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
