So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
