It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
