i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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