Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
