its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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