I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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