He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
